Tips to Succeed Relationally – From an LMFT Who’s Seen It All
What makes a relationship thrive?
As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I’ve had the privilege of sitting across from couples and individuals navigating everything from first-date jitters to years of unresolved conflict. And while every relationship is different, certain mindsets and habits consistently separate those who grow together from those who stay stuck.
Let’s talk about what it means to succeed relationally—and how that success might look different than what you’ve been taught.
Redefining Relational Success
Relational success isn’t about being conflict-free or always agreeing. It’s not measured by how often you post cute photos or how long you've been together. True success in relationships looks like:
Emotional safety
Healthy communication
Mutual respect
Growth (individually and together)
And sometimes? Success means walking away. Or pressing pause. Or setting a boundary that others might not understand.
Mindset Shifts That Lead to Relational Success
1. Stop Trying to Fix or Control Other People
You can influence, support, and express needs—but you can’t force someone to change. Relational success comes from accepting others as they are and knowing what your boundaries are if something isn’t working.
2. Let Discomfort Lead You to Growth
Healthy relationships are uncomfortable sometimes. They challenge your patterns, your patience, and your parts. But discomfort isn’t a red flag—it’s often an invitation to heal or communicate differently.
3. Boundaries Are Not Walls
Boundaries aren’t punishments; they’re clarity. They help define what’s okay and what’s not so that connection can happen in a way that honors everyone involved.
4. Repair Is More Important Than Being Right
Conflict is inevitable. What matters is how you come back together. Successful relationships aren’t the ones without fights—they’re the ones where both people know how to repair after disconnect.
5. Know When to Step Back
Sometimes the most relationally successful thing you can do is step away. That might mean taking space, slowing down the relationship, or even ending it altogether. Not all connections are meant to last—but every connection teaches you something.
Relational Habits That Actually Work
Name your feelings before blaming others - I feel __________ when/because __________
Use more curiosity and less assumption - get curious first, and put your narrative aside
Pause before reacting - an emotion lasts 90 seconds, let that wave settle before you respond
Practice directness and kindness at the same time - honesty really is the best path forward
Practice real boundaries- something that you do, not something you want the other person to do
Take ownership of your part first, even if it’s 2% - get to know yourself and what you might be bringing to the conflict
Want to Go Deeper?
If this post hit home, you’re not alone. Many of us were never taught how to navigate conflict, set boundaries, or show up fully in relationships. That’s why I created a digital workbook: "Repair, Relate, Reconnect"—a guided resource for individuals and couples who want to move from surviving to thriving in their relationships.
It’s packed with therapist-designed exercises, reflection prompts, and real-world examples to help you build the skills that matter most: emotional regulation, truth-telling, and repair.
Whether you're in a relationship or working on your own relational patterns, this workbook is a powerful tool for personal and relational growth.
👉 Learn more or grab your copy here
Final Thoughts
Relational success isn’t about perfection. It’s about presence, honesty, and the courage to grow—even when it’s hard. Whether that means staying, changing, or stepping away, your path to connection gets stronger when you walk it with intention.
