Surviving the Holidays as a Parent: Navigating Loved Ones & Little Ones

Let’s be honest: the holidays aren’t always magical when you're a parent. They can be beautiful, yes — but also chaotic, overstimulating, and exhausting. Between sugar crashes, unsolicited parenting advice, and trying to keep some kind of routine, it's easy to feel like you're barely hanging on. If you’ve ever cried in the bathroom at a holiday gathering (or fantasized about canceling everything), you’re in good company.

Here are some real-life, therapist-informed tips for surviving the holidays when you’re juggling your own expectations, your kids’ needs, and the emotions that come with being around family.

1. Check in with Your Expectations

What are you hoping for this season? Peace? Connection? A break?
Often, we enter the holidays with a fantasy version of how things "should" feel. But reality includes tired toddlers, passive-aggressive relatives, and burnt cookies.

Try setting a new bar: good enough.
If your kid melts down at the dinner table or you forget to send thank-you texts, it’s okay. Focus on connection, not perfection.

2. Prep Your Kids (and Yourself)

Talk to your kids ahead of time about what to expect — where you’re going, who will be there, what the day will look like. This helps reduce anxiety and gives them a sense of control.

While you're at it, prep yourself too. Who will likely say something triggering? What boundaries need to be in place?
Having a mental plan helps you respond instead of react.

3. Boundaries Are Your Friend

You’re allowed to say no.
To leave early.
To not hug Aunt Brenda if it feels forced.

Holidays are not a free pass for others to bypass your parenting choices, and you don’t owe anyone your energy.

It’s also okay to have different boundaries this year than last. Growth means shifting things as needed.

4. Don’t Forget to Regulate Yourself

Your nervous system sets the tone. If you're overwhelmed, your kids will feel it too. Sneak away to breathe, take a walk, or blast music in the car before walking in. Micro-regulation moments matter.

You don’t need an hour of alone time to reset. Sometimes a few deep breaths and a snack can help you stay grounded.

5. You Don’t Have to Justify Your Parenting

Whether you co-sleep, set strict screen limits, or let your kid wear pajamas to dinner — you don’t need to explain your choices to anyone.

If someone crosses the line with a judgmental comment, a simple “We’re doing what works for us” is enough.

6. Normalize Saying: This is a Lot

You don’t have to love every moment.
It’s okay to be grateful and overstimulated.
To love your family and feel drained.

The more honest we are about how layered this time of year is, the less alone we feel.

7. Give Yourself (and Your Kids) Permission to Opt Out

Not every tradition is worth preserving. If something feels more stressful than joyful, you can let it go.
Maybe that means skipping the matching pajamas photoshoot, or opting for takeout instead of a 12-dish dinner. Your well-being is more important than a curated memory.

Same goes for your kids. Let them have downtime, quiet corners, and breaks from the overstimulation of big family events.

A Final Note

You’re not doing it wrong. The fact that you care enough to want the holidays to feel good for your kids already says so much. This season, give yourself credit for showing up, adjusting expectations, and doing the best you can with the resources you have.

And if things feel especially heavy or complicated this year, therapy can be a space to make sense of it all. We work with parents, too—and we get it. You don’t have to hold it all alone.